"My next guest just won his fifth Academy Award and is currently starring in anything you have seen in theaters or will see in theaters: Guy Guest." "Hi Ellen Degeneres. Thanks so much for having me on." "Oh, Guy, you are quite the "in-demand" star these days so thank YOU for coming. So, tell us about this new movie you're in." "Well, Ellen, it's a hard hitting look at the political strife and biological warfare that is being utilized in eastern Asia and Africa." "Oh my. Well that sounds very deep and like it took a lot of time to get into that role and memorize such a highly intellectual script." "Oh it was, Ellen...it was." So, my best friend from my youth came over today. He brought me a copy of his new book. It's staring at me from my nightstand at the moment. I haven't read it yet, but I will be getting around to it. That and working out. And eating healthier. And surfing in Australia. And going shopping in Paris. And discovering a cure for a new virus I discovered. I'm actually super proud of my friend. The work that he went through to write, self-publish, and then distribute this novel is quite impressive. At the same time, I ponder upon the things I have accomplished, literary or otherwise. Aside from a cleverly worded Tweet or a witty retort to a facebook status, I'm pretty sure I've not written anything profound or life changing or even entertaining, for that matter. I have not yet discovered that virus or a cure for it. I can put together a pretty decent outfit, but that's not altering anyone's life. So what have I done? In my head, I like to think up story lines for movies. I have probably watched a total of 6 or 7 self-produced, written, cast, and directed movies so far. In the very rare case that these "films" will ever actually be recognized and actually come to fruition, I'm not going to disclose any plot lines or ideas. But I will say...they are epic. They are thought provoking and they are, sometimes, controversial; going where no film has ever gone before (no, none of them are science fiction) Today I shoveled the driveway for my parents. A fruitless act of service seeing as how the snow is falling so fast and thick that the driveway is now covered again. I bought lunch for my best friend (not the one who wrote the book) a few days ago. I'm poor now and he just bought me lunch today...sooo, kind of back to square one there. I saw a dog in the middle of the road and I stopped and let it walk in front of me. Did I get out of my car and help locate his owner? No, but I did let him live for a few more minutes...So I guess I did something for that dog. My point here? I don't think I will ever make a movie that will have people in tears; leaving the theater wanting to make a change in their lives. I will never save an old woman and her 29 cats from a burning building and be recognized as a hero. I will never write a novel that will eventually star Daniel Radcliffe, Jennifer Lawrence, or Kristen Stewart. (though I probably would be better off without that last one) In short, I can't make a big change on the world. But I'm trying...Starting with my parents, my best friend, and that homeless dog.